Thursday, February 14, 2008


Well I arrived into work a little later today because my daughter made a point of waking up early so she could wish me Happy Valentine's Day and give me my card. I leave at 6:00 AM. Much to her surprise Daddy had already bought a half dozen golden amber roses and placed them at her breakfast seat along with a card. You should have seen the joy in her sleepy little eyes as they came into focus. I have her Valentine's Day card to me here on my desk She and her mummy had gone out shopping for a Valentine's Day card about a week ago and she picked one out all by herself. It's one of a cartoon dog sitting at a computer typing in a long list of Valentine tributes "of all the things I love about you." When opening the card up, out pops a computer print out saying EVERYTHING. I wonder where she gets the idea that I spend a lot of my time sitting at a computer?

So anyhow, today's a day dedicated to love. Lots of people have lots of different ideas about what love means. Its kinda like God, there are a zillion different takes. But in seeing my daughter's reaction this morning (as well as that of my loving wife--I had bought her six long stem white roses which surrounded six long stem royal purple ones), I was reminded of what I have come to know. If there is true love, authentic love, there will always be joy. A test to see if this relationship is really real or not is: Is the relationship life-giving? Does the love endure? Does the joy persist? A true sign of love is joy. Love and joy are companions.

That's not to say authentic love doesn't also encompass pain and sorrow, but there's always enduring joy. Clare and I were expecting twins: a girl and a boy. Our daughter was delivered by C section first (its pretty standard to deliver twins by C section). I can't express the extreme joy I experienced. Then little Daniel was to be delivered. I could see the doctor's expression change and knew something was terribly wrong. Daniel was stillborn. That was five years ago this coming April 17th. The doctors after running subsequent tests still don't know exactly what happened or why, but somehow his internal organs stopped growing during the last few weeks unbeknownst to everyone. The odd thing was, before the C section they always hook up heart monitors and each twin was registering distinctly different heartbeats.

The doctors had been monitoring Clare and the twins for weeks before, and she would wear these little heart monitors attached to her abdomen. When I would come home I would say, "Daddy's home." And then speak to each one by name. When little Daniel would hear my voice and hear me say "Hi Daniel," his heart would race; you could see his heart beat accelerate when I would talk to him. That gave me the greatest joy. Daniel, you're still my "heart-throb." Love ya son. The joy you gave me will never die.

No comments: